Loss of human values in the present (so called modern) civilization is always under debate. Every second news item in print media and television reports the involvement of young generation in all short off social evils like theft, sex abuse, kidnapping, extortion, shooting, suicide, drug abuse, alcoholism and rash deriving etc. Sometimes it is blamed to the time (i.e., Kaliyuga) and many times to the teachers. Schooling (role of teachers) in overall is blamed not able to inculcate the human values in the students which is resulting in the rampant increase in social evils and for the loss of human qualities like honesty, patience and hard-work in the coming-up generations. Examples of great teachers in past are always cited to support the blame to present teachers for all the ills in the young generation. While schools do impart moral education, in the early years it is the parents who have the greater influence and a child is what his parents want to make him. No doubt teacher should also possess qualities of a good human being as expected from students. Teachers are remembered for what they are more than for what they teach. If a teacher is loving and kind, then everything he/she teaches will automatically be full of values. Once a teacher starts to practice values in his or her life, then to think of ways to integrate values into the classroom becomes easy.
But, it is an irony that youth from well off families and having good education are involved more in such activities which indicates that this (loss of values) is more due to bad parenting and not due to bad schooling. Presently, parents are busy in imparting all sorts of competitive knowledge to their children from very childhood days but they are least interested to imbibe value based development in the children. Thus, there is a great need of the day for good parenting instead of skilled parenting to inculcate human values in growing generation. Making of child to be a good citizen is governed by three major influences (sanakaras) coming from i) genetics (so far by virtue of nature) ii) parenting (iii) schooling and iv) society.
Parents all over the world are not very different when it comes to teaching values to their children. All cultures hold courage, independence, honesty to be the values that should be inculcated in children. Are the days gone when great parents used to inculcate great human values in their children for which our history is full of examples? Parents should not forget their commitment and accountability towards responsible/good parenting. Parents have to prepare their child for competition of life which is more difficult than any academic and career tests. Millions of children are growing up without proper model of good parenting at their homes. As a result, they (children) grow to be men physically but not mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. Becoming a good man may be a natural occurrence but in very rare cases. It happens over time as one is taught at home, in school and in the society. Presently, we have a generation which is so "modern" in its approach and thus inculcating moral human values in this generation is more difficult. In the era of high competition, school education in particular today has become very subject-oriented. If we believe that the purpose of education is the blossoming of human excellence, then each subject taught is simply a vehicle to help the children realize their full potential. Keeping this in mind, small changes in approach can reap rich dividends.
Good parenting not only means providing all comforts (financial, emotional, and physical) of life to our children but to make our child as a good human being. For which every parent have to make a conscious effort. Once we know better we must do better, remember that "God winks at ignorance but He holds all of us accountable for the right that we know". Children must be taught to believe in their abilities in themselves. They must be taught to be tough and resilient and have the courage to bounce back after adversities. Give them room to grow into what they actually are. Allow them to dream and help them to attain their dreams. Instill in them the courage to take failure in their stride and help them learn from their mistakes. Self confidence should be the password which rules their lives. Parents must encourage children to appreciate good things, goods deeds and good actions. Praise the children but control rendering unwanted praise for their (children) every action. Children should be taught to express gratitude with respect not by the art of "thank yous" only. They should be taught to be grateful for all that life has given them -all the small things that make up their lives which so many others do not have. Showing compassion, having consideration for others, learning to empathize should be apart of their daily lives. National pride must be instilled by being a good citizen, being concerned about society, building healthy relationships, obeying the law and being concerned with truth and justice.
Parenting is the greatest responsibility that any couple can take on. There is no more important job in any society than raising children, and there is no more important influence on how children develop than their parents. Inculcating good values in the formative years, getting to know the children and their friends, not giving them too much money or gifts were recommended by experts on good parenting. Thus, good parenting is "parenting that fosters psychological adjustment-elements like honesty, empathy, self-reliance, kindness, cooperation, self-control and cheerfulness". Good parenting is parenting that helps children succeed in school. Raising children is not something we think of as especially scientific and there is no guarantee that following these guidelines will result in perfect parents and guarantee of bringing up good children. But good parenting can be an effective tool to imbibe human values in your child for which you may have to blame yourself otherwise. It deters children from anti-social behavior, delinquency, and drug and alcohol use as well as helps protect children against the development of anxiety, depression, eating disorders and other *types of psychological distress.
Parents have to teach their children some very basics of daily life like:
i) To be spiritual
ii) To be honest
iii) To work hard
iv) To live a simple life.
v) To honor and respect others (young and old)
vi) To manage money
vii) Not to tell lies
viii) Not to steal/cheat
ix) Have patience
Dr SS Verma
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Friday, September 03, 2010
