The invitation cards are no longer simple. The richer you are the more elaborate is the card. Some even provide special travel arrangements to attend the reception.

While one can argue that this is a personal right and no one should mind if somebody wants to spend money, those not part of the 'show' always have criticism for the 'disgusting display' of wealth. The comments are more from equivalent status families as the poor have no time for viewing such events.

These can only be self-controlled and not by imposed restrictions. The society in general is not unanimous about interfering in such private functions. Those invited talk only in comparative terms to other similar show of effluence. Even if somebody wants to have a simple arrangement, the comments of relatives and friends forces them otherwise.

Amrita Singh: Marriage dinners should be definitely very simple that too hosted equally by the boy's and the girl's side. "Marriages are made in heaven"- To keep up with the sanctity of the saying, it has become very necessary to keep the wedding celebrations low profile. Ironically, the higher the amount spent on marriages, the higher are the cases of malpractices with women like dowry problems, female foeticide; the declining women ratio as compared to men ratio is alarming in our country. Let's take the recent case of putting the daughter-in-law on fire in the Capital. The root cause of these vicious problems is money.

Many NGOs are supporting women empowerment programmes for the upliftment and support of the women to put an end to such problems.

RJ Khurana: Yes, of course! Ostentation, by definition, is vulgar.

Anything vulgar is the antithesis of good taste. Vulgar display always robs an occasion of its solemnity not to talk of beauty and dignity. Anything shorn of good taste, however, dazzling and high-sounding does not pass the test of aesthetics. A simple marriage party hosted with warmth and care for guests will always make a longer lasting impression than one marked by high opulence and arrogance.

Besides, there is an economic angle to a marriage party. Just as giving of dowry sours a marriage, the squandermania on a marriage party also places an unbearable burden on the girl's parents. In many cases it may be the beginning of spiraling indebtedness that may finally lead to ruin of a family. It is imperative to understand the inherent goodness of a dignified simple marriage party that will always be cherished and remembered for the graciousness and warmth of its host.

Madhu Agrawal: India should follow Pakistan where the Supreme Court of Pakistan allowed only soft drinks, beverages, soups and ice-creams in wedding-functions, banning meals and all other food-items. Even Jammu & Kashmir Government in India has taken similar initiative to prevent marriages becoming a race for status-show wrongly encouraged by celebrities and VVIPs through their presence highlighted by media. Similar step throughout India with tightening of Anti-dowry Act will prevent birth of girl-child taken as bane in our anti-women society.

Pakistan Supreme Court has described lavish spending on marriages as of Hindu origin. Supporters of Common Civil Code in India can remove doubts from minds of minorities by accepting such and other welcome features from Islamic culture as token of accommodating all better aspects of human society in Common Civil Code! It is to be noted that liquor is also not available in Pakistan to majority community, and even Muslims have to procure liquor through minority Hindus and Christians!

Manisha Gupta: Yes, definitely! With India shining and Indians getting more affluent by the day, marriage celebrations are increasingly becoming more lavish and wasteful. They're more an event to establish one's prosperity and affordability rather than just a celebration of the marriage itself. Money spent on food alone is exorbitant. It's not all that necessary to have an entire line-up of dishes just to match or exceed that of your competitors or peers as a lot of food goes waste.

With India, shining from one side and dark from the other, having people who've to fight for their daily bread and many a time sleep empty stomach, it would be worthwhile if the budget of the marriage dinner be slashed and the balance amount utilized in feeding mouths that really 'need to eat to survive' rather than overstuffing those already bulging figures whose health will be better off if they ate less!

Dr.Suram Singh Verma: Question is not whether marriage dinner parties should be simple but question is how to keep them simple? Every affordable person preaches it but none practice except those who cannot afford and they are also not leaving any stone unturned to reach to the level/standard set by others by any means. If according to President of America, increasing affordability of middle class people (about 35 crores) in India is affecting food prices over the globe we can assume its affect related to our own country. Corruption and expenditure which were limited to a particular (ie influential) section of society are becoming the trade mark of society in general and with middle class society in particular.

It is very difficult to stop people from showing their means by government rules which are only made to break and preaching by others without practice. Effect of preaching, spiritualism, socialism, concern for others & for mother earth etc are the things only for those who cannot afford the wastage or show off business. There is a great need for a national level debate at every level to find out the ways and methods to implement them with a possible outcome to make marriage dinner parties simple.

Sushmita Shrivastava: The modern marriages are an opportunity for display of affluence, lavish spending on parties, decoration and dowry items. The show of money is shamelessly vulgar and it is polluting the entire social environs. While such unnecessary spending puts avoidable burden on the individual families, it also adversely affects the overall economy and weakens the social fabric.

The sacred marriages are these days inflicted by two major evils: one, overspending in marriage parties and the second is dowry system. In gross violation of laws, marriages are solemnised with pomp and show with lavish parties thrown to hundreds of persons. The Government is also among the 'culprits'. Even the highest in the administration turn Nelson's eye to the whole affair.

The politicians too are the worst violators of this norm of simple marriages. The senior bureaucrats and leading businessmen take marriage as an opportunity to show off their ill-gotten money. The intellectuals and so-called social leaders too indulge in extravaganzas during wedding though they are often heard cursing the evils of extravaganza in the marriage ceremonies. The "free flow of wine", vulgar dances on the busy streets blocking the traffic, throwing of currency notes and decorations are meaningless. The firecrackers add to the already high level of noise pollution and high risk of fire. Another disturbing trend is celebration of marriages in big hotels with lavish spending but which lack the personal warmth.

It is the middle and lower strata of society which is dragged in this nefarious game of overspending feeling the pinch very hard.

This situation in society is at an alarming proportion. All the people feel the pangs of this unbearable burden but there is nobody to bell the cat.

Arun singh: In each and every man's life, there are some unforgettable moments and marriage is one of them. We play two different roles in our life- the role which we play before marriage and the role which we play after marriage. Marriage is the station from where we start our new journey with new intentions. Then why not we celebrate this invaluable moment as much as we can.

Hence in my view marriage dinner party should be colourful but any wastage should be avoided.

Arun RS: Yes marriage parties should be conducted simply because nowadays marriage ceremonies have been rated high. Many are spending their money very lavishly and wasting their wealth. Instead of wasting money in this manner they could help the poor and can donate at least Rs 2000 every month. Nowadays people do not have any mind of donating to the poor because all have the mind of spending for themselves. So I kindly tell you that don't spend much money for these purposes.

Dr. Balak Ram Kashyap: Yes, the marriage dinner parties should be simplest possible. Like marriage ceremony itself every event connected with it should be devoid of unduly large expenditure. The necessity for simplicity in this field has become all the more desirable in view of the soaring prices all around. These days a large sum of money is wasted on decoration and lighting alone. Then numerous food items, separate for vegetarians and non-vegetarians are served. Arrangements for marriage dinner parties are generally made by posh hotels mostly on contract basis who charge exorbitant price for their material and services sometimes near or over a lakh of rupees or so.

Expensive marriage dinner parties are particularly more burdensome to the parents of the bride who are already under great stress owing to various demands from the groom's side. If such parties are made simple and less expensive it will provide relief to the parties concerned.

Unnecessary waste of money on expensive marriage dinner parties needs to be cut down drastically. Even otherwise looking to the number of items served it may be said that the food served does not conform to the norms of healthy eating habits. Excessive use of oils, sweets and many a time even alcoholic drink may do more harm than good to the guests partaking of such food.

Also in these days of severe power shortage money and power wasted on lighting and loudspeakers etc. can be gainfully avoided. Besides blurring loudspeakers disseminating film songs and DJ etc. can be got rid off to check noise pollution.

Vaisakh Kurup: Marriage is one of the most cherished memories in a person's life. When a person dreams of his /her marriage, there comes in his mind, the glittering lights, the music, friends and relatives everywhere and celebrations all over. In India every possible attempt is made to make a marriage party as extravagant and as lucrative as possible.

The family takes it as a matter of pride and prestige and leaves no stone unturned to make it a success. There is a celebration all over, everyone is happy and everyone enjoys a marriage party.

As it is rightly said `a win has two faces', the other face of hosting a marriage party is that it has a huge loss both in terms of money and also affecting the country.

We may perhaps think that how a marriage party can affect a nation. Literally it seems to make no sense. Let's get it right.

In a marriage party, lots of money is spent on various aspects like food, light, clothing, flowers, music, ornaments etc. We have money so we can afford anything; thus we make lavish arrangements for the wedding party, it's a matter of prestige.

During the party the people are excited to see such a number of arrangements. And at the food point we are delighted to see a number of food stalls, we want to try it all so we take an excess amount of food, more than our requirement. After eating to our fill we throw the excess food in the dustbin.

Syed Zia Ul Hasan Naqvi: Nowadays, on account of flaunting of wealth by wealthy persons and extravagance by middle class people in marriages, they have made marriage dinner parties so expensive that the amount spent in these parties is often staggering for an ordinary person.

Marriage dinner parties should be simple and affordable, these parties should not be a burden or a trouble for any class of people in society. If we pose a question, Should marriage dinner party be simple? Answer of majority of people will be in yes. But in practical (ie in their functions) because of existing milieu people act differently from what they say and conceptualize.

Imitation is the human nature so we copy each other in functions also and spend money beyond our means. Pomp and show has become part and parcel of our everyday life so without caring for money we display our best things in functions.

Sometimes people are forced in marriages from the bride-groom side to organize the best function full of pomp and show. Apart from this it is the parents desire also to do the best in the functions of their kith and kin.

For bringing simplicity in marriage functions the entire society should be determined to take concrete steps. Only then it will be possible to change.

Aastha Sharma: Marriages are occasions of fun, frolic, colour, music and feasting. Adding an essence of simplicity in it will dampen its turbulence. Often we hear that the couples are made in heaven. The day when they are bound together in an exuberant thread of love is marriage. But, how to celebrate it all depends on us. We can either celebrate it in a simple way or by wasting the money in needless things.

There were days when everyone had equal feelings as the family members had for the marriage couple. And the mighty feelings of happines, gaiety, merriment rose in the air. But, now these feelings are lost in some deep darkness. And the only thing left is status, competition and show and pomp. We are to be blamed for making the marriage nothing more than a status symbol. This wizard of status has changed the game totally, since past 15 years.

By this I don't mean that there was no fun, money spending, decoration, music in olden days. It was in a limit and with lots of simplicity. Because they know this is not the end, they have to live their lives after this day also. Then why an enormous part of our money is wasted in the marriage parties. Instead they can gift their sons or daughters with gifts or invest the money.

Wastage of money in useless is the trend today. Why this wastage- for nothing just for flaunting the unreal status. But how far can you dodge the truth? The old customs which were of great value for the people in olden days are now recognised as absurd antiquated formalities. The dangerous devil status is strengthening its position. We have to stop this by developing feelings, not formalities.

We should not only arrange simple marriage parties but choose simplicity as the way of our life, because simplicity is magnetic in appeal. It is a virtue which gives fragrance to everyone.

Jaskaran Singh Dhami: Simplicity undoubtedly is a great virtue but being simple or practicing simplicity does not mean that we should make our lives drab and colourless. To save our life from becoming monotonous, revivify our spirits and to nourish social relations, parties play a vital role. Parties, undeniably, are great stress busters. If we keep a party (be it a marriage dinner party or any other gathering of friend and relatives) simple it will not be a party in the real sense of the word. To create an atmosphere where people become more open and elated, forget the worries of daily life and enjoy the moment fulsomely, we have to cater for something extra which partygoers relish and party-pooper disapprovingly call extravaganza (though this word originally had no negative connotations). All razzmatazz associated with marriage dinner parties which we would have to thrust aside to make them simple, is in fact the thing which generates the party spirit. Even those who advocate the simple marriage parties enjoy being in a gathering where exhilarating and invigorating atmosphere is spawned.

Every person who throws or organizes a marriage dinner party spends according to his financial might and the rung of the ladder of social status where he stands. Those who criticize the lavish spending on parties, in my opinion, are simply bitten by the jealousy bug. By targeting the sumptuous marriage dinner parties organized by politicians or other dignitaries people give vent to their deep-rooted jealousy and TV news channels find spicy stories to keep the people glued to their channels. The effect is same as that of dogs barking at an elephant walking majestically on the road.

Should the marriage dinner party be kept simple, is a very subjective issue. All depends on your mindset. If you believe in simple parties and are fortunate enough to have many likeminded people who enjoy simple parties, go ahead. Who stops you? But don't react or get conditioned to oppose opulent parties like Pavlove's dogs (a path breaking experiment in educational psychology).

I am in favour of a marriage party (whether bountiful or simple) which is the gathering of likeminded people who respect each other's sentiments and where civic sense is not discarded, does not become a nuisance for those who are not attending it and where drink is consumed in moderation and does not result in bawdy brawls or scuffles. Let's wind up the discussion in a party- spirit. "Hurray"

Firoza Visal: It is traditional to offer dinner in the marriages and to invite as many friends and relatives as possible. The invitees keep watch over figure of persons attending marriage and they keenly observe quality and quantity of dinner too. The host welcomes guests at every step since a single remark or wrong impression of guest may sweep the show, even the poorest host therefore procures money for dinner, either by sale of his property or borrowing, mortgaging. The birth of a girl in a family alarms father and mother for such a huge future expenditure of dinner party of marriage at the time of girl's marriage. Girl's father remains alert throughout a long period for girl's development and saves a lion share of money for future marriage dinner party. A soiree or dinner party is a formal social gathering at which people eat together at the cost of host which is a sort of "Get-to-gather", usually in the host's own home. At marriage dinner parties, a buffet of food is provided on a table or counter or many times variety of food stall like chats, ice creams, snacks, fruits, juices and sweets, the guests choose items from the buffet and eat standing up as they talk and mingle. The dinner parties in. Case of VIP marriages are sometimes preceded by cocktails, a social gathering in a living room or bar where guests drink alcoholic cocktails as they mingle. Women guests may wear cocktail dresses. Cocktail parties are often held as a prelude to a dinner party. Casual get-togethers are certainly fun, but there seem to be few opportunities for spouses to spruce up and enjoy an evening with those closest to them. But from medical point of view heavy eating in marriage dinner create stomachache and many diseases as my experience, most of us don't know that the day food has values as far as digestive metabolism is concerned breakfast food is "gold" the highest value, lunch is "silver" the normal value and dinner is "copper", the copper means leaser value. Eating heavy dinner in marriage party late night makes worst health. In my opinion the marriage dinner party to attract a mass attendance in marriage for beautifying marriage ceremony should be made simple and instead of variety of items of food it should be limited to soft drinks of fruit juices. For decoration some cultural music programme or competitive indoor games with attractive prizes will make it more important and the marriage ceremony will be much more beautified, the purpose of mass attendance will also be achieved, both guests and hosts will save health and wealth. It is most important point not only from the individual point of view but country point of view too.

Krishna Chander Mouli:The question "should marriage dinner parties be simple" is a subjective poser. Yet a big YES in its answer, although what is simple marriage dinner party for a common citizen may be below the status, standard and position of a millionaire or even just a rich person who would also claim that their marriage dinner party was also simple in their context. The richer, powerful and influential a person/family is the ostentatious, gaudy, vulgar and sometimes cynically mocking at the lesser mortals and have nots are the marriage dinner parties these days. To the misfortune of the bride's parents ostentation and gaudy decorations have become much more taxing and important now in marriage receptions and parties than the traditional dowry that a bridegroom's family expects and is clandestinely passed on. Gaudy marriage parties may be satisfying the vanity of those who are organizing such parties but these parties are an indirect dent on the exchequer too. Because in such parties more units of power, many a time through theft, is consumed; a large chunk of food is wasted and a bad precedent for the prospective match makers is set, besides dissolving the sanctity of marriages as such.

Yet audaciously the marriage dinner parties continue to be lavishly thrown without any inhibition. Govt should come forward and enact a law to regulate this frittering away of nation's treasure on such vulgar display of affluence just as the Election Commission tries to regulate election expenses. People may still clandestinely spend lavishly but law providing for stringent punishment for gaudy display in marriage dinner parties and their easy exposure before such law may work as a deterrent and in the long run enable the restoration of simple but enjoyable marriages of sanctity and reception and dinner parties.

RK Kutty: It is a genuine question which often comes up for deliberation at various forums. I am glad it has come up again through this forum as well. There are conflicting views whenever such question comes up for open discussion. The clash of conflict exists because our society itself is divided in classes. Mainly they are Upper Class, Upper Middle Class, Lower Middle Class and the Lower Class. This differentiation appears always in matrimonial columns itself. It, in fact, is a status symbol. So, in order to display the class stature or distinction, people spend on occasions like marriages. Naturally, the parents of a single boy or girl who have sufficient money to spare would prefer to show up their status by arranging lavish dinner parties. Why not, after all it is their money, they want to enjoy along with their family and friends, especially when marriage is a one time happening in one's life. But, the problem arises when parents of the lower or lower middle classes who have more than two or three children whose marriages are to be arranged, they struggle a lot in arranging an ordinary dinner party, what to speak of ostensible or lavish parties. And that, in these days when the prices are sky-rocketing, will be a real problem.

Government cannot make any law or statute to restrict such things. Even when we have made umpteen number of laws, making dowry a punishable act, there is no dearth of dowry related deaths. Even if the government may think of bringing in some legislation restricting lavish or ostentatious dinner parties in marriages, the very people who make such legislations will violate it.

I have heard of marriages of Leftists, who are mostly non-believers. In the formative days of leftist movements, their marriages were reported to be such simple that it occurred in their party offices. The bride and groom exchanged a simple red-coloured Mala in front of their close associates. No band-baja, no glitterati, no lavish parties. At the most they may exchange some sweets or a simple tea-party. But, when time changed, there was a report from Kerala recently that the present Left Front Government Home Minister Kodiyeri Balakrishnan son's marriage took place in five star hotels and some controversial land mafia footed the bill for that. How far it is true is not known, yet, when somebody complains through media, one is bound to believe it.

Those who have capacity to spend on lavish marriage dinner parties may like to utilize that money to arrange the marriage of one or two poor girls of either their own society, family or of their immediate neighborhood. That would be more pleasing to God than throwing up such extravaganzas that hardly brings any real soul satisfaction

Alka Dixit: Marriages are very auspicious ceremonies. Once in a lifetime marriages are performed. Parents try to celebrate this occasion with pomp and show. Even a poor person invests his lifetime hard earned money for such joyful function. For this function he seeks loan and for his whole life he repays this with interest.

At present cost of living is becoming higher day by day. In some cases lot of money is spent on such occasions and suppose marriage fails and divorce happens then that whole money is wasted.

What is the need of the parents to show off? Do a simple registered or Arya samaj wedding and throw a small party for your friends and relatives. Once you have to take a bold step and the society will follow your footsteps because in the heart of the heart people are fed up of this show-off customs.